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David Hastie

October 13, 2008 12:00am

KAERA Douglas may never fully recover from the trauma of the CBD shooting last year.

But as she struggles to rebuild her life she has vowed to help other girls avoid her destructive lifestyle.

Ms Douglas has volunteered for a children's charity, attends church, applied for university, regularly attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and intends to pursue a career as a guidance counsellor for adolescents.

She broke her silence yesterday to warn young girls about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.

"I know people will be saying, 'Who's she to be preaching to us, she's that stripper who got shot'," Ms Douglas told the Herald Sun.

Ms Douglas is still haunted by guilt over the horror of June 18, 2007, when Christopher Wayne Hudson killed father of three Brendan Keilar and also shot her and Dutch backpacker Paul De Waard.

The two men had run to her aid after she was violently assaulted by Hudson in central Melbourne during the busy morning peak.

She also revealed that she had been shot twice by Hudson during the rampage, but the second bullet was stopped by her mobile phone.

"I want to say to all the young girls out there who ever think of taking a drug, who ever think of dancing, dating a bikie, don't do what I did," she said.

"It's not pretty, there's nothing glamorous, nothing cool about it."

Just talking about that day is hard for her. Ms Douglas said she had been back to the site of the shooting and had tried to contact Mr Keilar's family, but they did not want to meet her.

She said Hudson's trial and sentencing left her feeling sick in the stomach.

"Just total anxiety about it all (when Hudson was sentenced to life in prison)," Ms Douglas said. "I don't want to say much about him. It's just a really sad, sad thing that happened.

"I don't really understand it. I doubt he does.

"I've been past (the site). In my therapy, that was one of the important things, with trauma situations, not to be avoiding things.

"Some days are really tough for me. I still deal with huge guilt every day."

Despite having signed a contract with celebrity agent Harry M. Miller, Ms Douglas said there was no amount of money that could make her recall her memories of the shooting.

The Herald Sun did not pay for this interview.

"I don't want to tell my story about what happened," she said.

"That's mine. There's no price tag anyone could put on that."

While there was no escaping her past, Ms Douglas said she could begin to get her life back on track after Hudson's court hearings.

She said the unwavering love and support of her family had helped her escape the unforgiving lows and self-inflicted guilt.

"I retreated from the world, I changed all my friends," she said.

"I'm a very private person now. I stay at home a lot. Work, gym, home.

"I'm in AA now. The devil drink has always been my problem.

"My family have been the biggest support for me.

"They're the ones who have helped me get through this."

Ms Douglas dismissed rumours spread about her on the internet as mainly hurtful and incorrect.

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Kaera Douglas at her home.

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concept		evidence	hits	links
	$drugwar_propaganda [news] [concept]	$propaganda_theme2 $propaganda_theme5 $propaganda_theme6		Classic Modern Drug Propaganda Themes in Chemical Prohibition Drug War Propaganda (book)
	$propaganda_theme2 [news] [concept]	"dangers of drug" "violently" "hurtful" "deadly" "anxiety" "dangers" "problem"	7	Madness,Crime,Violence,Illness (propaganda theme 2) http://www.drugwarfacts.org/crime.htm http://www.drugwarfacts.org/causes.htm Distortion 18: Cannabis and Mental Illness
	$propaganda_theme5 60% [news] [concept]	"children"	1	Children Corrupted (propaganda theme 5) http://www.drugwarfacts.org/adolesce.htm
	$propaganda_theme6 60% [news] [concept]	"devil"	1	Demonize, War (propaganda theme 6)
	$drugs 90% [news] [concept]	$various_drugs
	$chemicals [news] [concept]	$alcohol		http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/chemicals.s...
	$depressant_intoxicant [news] [concept]	$alcohol
	$alcohol [news] [concept]	"Alcoholics" "alcohol"	3	Stanton Peele Addiction Web Site http://www.drugwarfacts.org/alcohol.htm
	$various_drugs 90% [news] [concept]	"drug"	2
	$youth 60% [news] [concept]	$propaganda_theme5		http://www.ssdp.org/
	$school [news] [concept]	"schools" "university"	2	http://www.ssdp.org/

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